Self-Growth

How to stop expecting validation and appreciation from others

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing” ~Aristotle.

Do you always depend on others for appreciation?
Do you often seek validation from others about being right or wrong?
Do you start self-doubting yourself when someone rejects or criticizes you?

Don’t settle yourself for validation and appreciation to start thriving. The growth stops when you begin seeking validation and appreciation from others.

Let go of seeking validation and appreciation from others.

How to let go of the need for Approval?

1. Build a strong self-acceptance mindsetWhen you start accepting yourself, you hardly care about others opinions; because they are opinions and not the facts. Build a growth mindset. Never fall into the trap of self-doubt and low confidence. Acceptance comes when you start noticing the process. Your action matters the most than the outcomes. Focus on the efforts, not the result, and you will start feeling the difference.

2. Breaking the habit of self-doubt to build confidenceIt is ok to ask for approvals on occasion. When you start stepping back from your choices or decisions, it forms a norm. Break the harsh thoughts; self-talk is necessary to build confidence. When you hear the negative perception, acknowledge them, replace them with an affirmation of – I am capable and valuable, this thought is temporary, I am overcoming the self-doubt.

3. Why you need to seek approvals before considering your opinion Ask yourself these three questions before turning down your beliefs:

Why am I listening to others opinions?
What can I do differently to believe in myself?
What change can I bring in myself?

Once you do start asking the questions, you will get more clarity. The answers will aid in building self-esteem and self-confidence. 

4. Be BraveWe feel we deserve appreciation in whatever we do; whether it is a small task or a big job, we all want to feel the feeling of recognition. Not everyone will think in that way. It is ok to appreciate yourself first before validating from others. If you feel happy when helping out others, there is reason to find a need for a Thank you. 

5. Ability to cope up with disagreementsNo one is perfect. There are very few people who will always agree with you. The ones who disagree are not your enemies. It is about perception. If you think people will agree with you all the time and appreciate you, it will be hard for you to be around them. Be open-minded, never settle for others appreciation; it will lead to failure.

6. Use affirmation to build a positive mindsetPositive self-talk plays a vital role in being a mindful person. Begin your day with proclamations such as –

  • I am confident. I am learning to accept the changes in my life
  • I will never rely on others opinions and appreciation
  • I am grateful for building myself with positivity 
  • I seek guidance and help from the universe whenever I am lacking

7. Don’t expect others to believe in you Don’t waste your time convincing others to believe in you. Trust your instincts. When you leverage on others beliefs, the pressure will always make you feel caged. True freedom lies in taking responsibility for your self-esteem. Remind yourself that you believe in yourself even when others don’t. Remind yourself you are ready to accept the world; however, it is challenging. 

8. Don’t apologize for who you areYou are unique; you have the copyrights for being yourself. Be the best version of yourself. Everyone has flaws; everyone is good at something, everyone follows their principles. Even if you are alone, there is no one besides you, don’t apologize for being yourself. The correct value lies in being oneself. 

9. Asking validation when it is not requiredIt is easier to get forgiveness than validation. When you are seeking validation, that means you are giving more importance to the other person. Asking permission when it is not required is an unhealthy habit. Ask yourself if others opinion is supreme than the facts I have in front of me. Does it make a huge difference?

10. Learn to Self Validate and AppreciateWhat are your values? What is that thing which makes you happy even if no one appreciates you? Why are you seeking validation, and from whom? Recap or recall the situation again before jumping to any decision. Learn to self validate your thoughts, actions. Imagine what you can do with all the power you possess.

P.S. Believe in yourself; things will fall in place. No one is perfect. No one is you

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