Hi guys, I hope you all are doing well. I am so sorry I missed posting on the blog for a long time. I have a significant update to share with you before I begin the actual content. So I have been busy writing my debut novel, and I was showing up on my Instagram, Twitter, and other social media platforms, but I missed writing a blog as you guys are my favorite.
The concept of Self-Love and Self-care was very new for me back in 2019. I remember going on a date where I decided to spend some “me time” with myself. I was pretty fascinated with what this meant, and people around me were running after me to pamper myself, look in the mirror, and have some pep talks, which did not make any sense to me. I found that very silly, to be honest. On one Sunday, I decided to go and have breakfast in the morning with a friend; she knew that I was going through the worst time. Once I was back to my rental apartment, I knew that I needed to go out and think about something else rather than sitting in a room and crying over again and again.
I had no plans; I did not know how to begin my day. I called my Mom and informed her that I had planned my day with my friend. Yes, I lied because I did not know how to explain to them as I lived in a different city away from home, and my parents knew my suffering, and they had become extra protective. I took that extra-protective word as care, but still, I wanted to do something on my own, that feeling of resolving everything on my own. I opened the application to book a movie ticket for myself, and I had 2 hours left for the movie to begin.
The first thing I did was decide what my attire would be. I started hunting for all the new apparel I had bought. After trying a couple of crop tops, I finally decided to put on the new cold shoulder pink top and blue jeans. I was a no make-up person, but I decided to do some make-over. I applied black eyeliner and matte pink lipstick. The primary thing was to determine the hairstyle – Ohh, Ghosh, I was a horrible hairstyler, so I let it open in the air. When I looked in the mirror, I could see a new sparkle on my face. I clicked a selfie-and had sent it to three friends who were my constants. My WhatsApp was flooding with compliments and where I was heading alone. The next thing I did was book a cab and drive to the mall where I planned to spend my day. Usually, while traveling, I carried the earphones, but that day I dropped the idea and started noticing small things like the hoarding of Ads, children playing in the park, and seeing the babies’ names in the car. I clicked some pictures of the clouds, which formed different shapes as if I got a new pair of eyes.
I was not that hungry, and the food court had so many options to try; I was confused about what I should eat, so I decided to have Mc’D Meal, my all-time favorite Mc’Veggie Meal Coke and French Fries. I still had a half-an-hour left for the movie. I always loved watching trailers before the film, which incited a new zeal for planning the next one. I was such a crazy person. When I was waiting in the lobby for the show to begin, I noticed only a few couples, and most people were of a family. I had planned to watch a Gujarati movie – my mother tongue, and the title was “Chal Jeevi Laiye” (Come, let’s live). The theatre was booked full, and I did not even for a moment feel like I was alone; everyone around me was laughing their heart out because it was a comic movie full of laughter and life lessons. The people around me were enjoying their time with family and friends. It was a family movie; I wish to watch it with my family. The thought crossed my mind, but how would I realize that sometimes it is okay to live for yourself for a moment.
The movie stayed with me, and some of the lessons will always remain lifelong with me. I learned how to enjoy my present and realized how important it is not to always go by plans and sometimes pick up your favorite attire, dress for yourself, and take a break. I went shopping in the mall from one shop to another. I tried different outfits; I picked up those that matched my mood. I am very picky when choosing clothes, food, and friends, and I constantly desire something different from others. The day was going quite well. I enjoyed every bit of it because I was thinking about myself in a not very selfish mode but in terms of prioritizing myself for the first time. I was the kind of person who would go head over heels for someone but never cared about myself.
After roaming in a mall for around three hours, I was tired and took a break before dinner. I sat on the bench outside the mall in the evening and enjoyed the sunset. I learned that if you don’t take care of yourself, no one will come to make you understand that this is the most important thing you need to live a healthy life. Putting yourself first is not being selfish; it is about protecting your peace of mind, taking care of yourself, and dating yourself so that you can reflect on yourself before you fall in love with someone else.
I wish I could understand these simple things, but it is never too late to learn and implement some things in life. After watching the sunset quietly and noting the thoughts on my phone, I went to the mall again. I had South Indian cuisine and chocolate ice cream. I booked a cab, and the sky had turned dark. I told the driver to turn off the A.C., open the window, and let the cool breeze play with my hair. He looked in the mirror, maybe finding it silly, but I did not care. I was enjoying the moment. When I reached my apartment, my roommate asked me where the whole day I had spent, and I replied I was on a date with myself. She was scratching her head in misery, and I was laughing, catching my stomach.
A few facts I learned about myself when I went on a date with myself was –
- There will be moments when the whole world will make fun of you, but you have to ignore them and enjoy your moment.
- Caring for yourself is not selfish.
- Self-love is all about loving those broken pieces, accepting your reality, and healing slowly.
- Take one step at a time; never rush in a race.
- You can sometimes put on your favorite dress, hold the camera and take a picture yourself.
- It is okay to enjoy your own company; no one will be there for you forever.
- Your favorite food will always help you in relieving the stress.
- Don’t think about the people who have left you; think about the constants who cheer you.
- You deserve the best always – never doubt yourself.
- Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made.
- Reflect on your thoughts, make them your friends, never let them rule your mind.
- It is okay not to disclose your plans to even your friends. Sometimes it is okay to live a happy life without telling everything to everyone.
- It is perfectly alright to eat alone, shop alone and do the crazy stull which is meaningless for others.
- Little things matter the most; even if it sounds silly or weird, it sometimes changes your outlook for the better.
- It is okay to date yourself; you are the one who will be playing different roles in different people’s lives, so make sure you love yourself without judging yourself.
P.S. If you have ever dated yourself, please feel free to share; please drop a reply. I would love to hear from you about your experience on self-love, self-care, and peace of mind.